Yesterday, something at home reminded me of a trio of my best girlfriends. We regularly have an email cycle between the four of us, sharing little details of our day. A lot of times it may just be what we have eaten so far in the day as we are all food obsesses and inspire each other with new recipes and combos.
I realized it had been a while since one of these emails went around. I am not usually the starter of them, but I chose to get one started on this occasion, to restart the cycle.
I started off with what I had so far today, and then shared a brief summary of what my day was to look like. I chose to end it with 2 clearing questions. This is something that I had added on one of our last rounds. In my mind I was doing it for them. To allow them to release anything they may have in their heads without knowing or maybe something they were battling and to then inspire them.
The questions were 1) Where in your life could you be more patient?
And 2) What gift can you give yourself today?
I was about to hit send and then thought, “oh yeah, I better answer these myself, too, if I am asking them to share their answers”. So I changed the colors for the text of the questions and then under each one wrote my name and then started to answer, thinking I was making an easy to follow example for each to put in their own answers. How great will this be for them!
I then went to answer the questions, myself and went to look for new questions, because, I, myself, did not want to answer those. I knew that it wasn’t the questions themselves that I was unwilling to answer it was that I was not ready to ask myself any questions and really see what would come up. So, I left the questions and started typing without even knowing what was to come out. I was balling out tears, with emotions and thoughts that I had no clue were so strong inside of me.
I thought I was posting these questions for my friends, and I ended up having a breakthrough on my own. One that I didn’t even know was buried inside. I ended up being the recipient as well as the sender.
I sent the email along and only one of the three girls responded, but she didn’t actually respond to the email. She didn’t write what she had eaten today and she did not answer the questions. Neither did you respond to what I wrote. Her message simply said, “I am cleaning out my inbox, there is some funny stuff! Love you girls! Xoxoxox.”
In the past, I may have created a story about this non-response and of the one odd reply that did have me wondering if she had actually read this email. I could have made up that my friends are not interested in me. They aren’t there for me. They don’t support me. Our relationship is one-sided where I always make myself available to them, that my messages aren’t as important as when another of our foursome starts them. The is list endless and I have made up stuff like that before.
Not today though (or yesterday, as it was). Today, I only sent those friends more and more love. I saw that in reaching out to better their days, I had in turn brought some things to the surface for myself. I know that my friends love me and support me. So, they didn’t answer my email, no biggie. If I had stepped into a place of frustration or doubt that would not have helped me or them or our friendships. I create that my friends are 100% supportive of all that I do and love me unconditionally and then they get to step into that!
Thank you for sharing these experiences. I struggle with negative thought patterns and self-hating bullcrap all the time. It helps to see somebody whose mind could go to the negativity, but instead chooses Love. Thank you.
Hi Tricia,
Thank you so much for writing this blog! I really does lift me up on so many levels and gives me a good shot of gratitude just when I need it! Your story reminds me of a very wise friend of mine who once told me when I was in a particularly dark place that there is a certain way most people think of the problems in their lives. Most people start out thinking “You are ordinary and your problems are unique.” This way of thinking makes your problem whether big or small can overwhelm you and really mess with your head. When actually, the opposite is true. “YOU are unique and your problems are ordinary!” My friend was trying to remind me that everyone has issues and has probably gone through the exact same thing as me at some point in their life. Maybe your friend did read your email and had just as much trouble as you answering it. Maybe she’s not ready either. Even if she didn’t read through the whole thing like you said, that’s ok…she still love you! Just look at all the x’s and o’s!! I’m not suggesting in any way shape or form that your head was in the first part of this equation I just thought I would share this advice that helped me and try to pay it forward. Please forgive me if I’m way off base here. Thanks again for doing what you do.
Jen
…Also please forgive the horrific grammar and typos. I was not an english major. Where can I be more patient in my life you ask? Umm…how about we start with proof reading? ;O)
“I create that my friends are 100% supportive of all that I do and love me unconditionally and then they get to step into that!” YES – and who you are when *this* is where you hold yourself is exactly what inspires and draws those in your life to show up for you in that unconditionally loving and supportive way. I totally feel that no-response and response are unconditional love because whatever the case they get me to look at what story I have in my self and where I am holding myself energetically. What if we all woke up every day feeling with deep conviction that all those in our lives unconditionally loved and supported us beyond our wildest dreams and expectation? Just the energy of that knowing and feeling alone fills me up!
LOVE!
♡ k.