I’ll be honest that while I LOVE being a mother I have found myself thinking fondly of times when I could work all day long on a project if I wanted to. A time when I really truly could stop everything and write when the inspiration hit me. When I could dive into creation mode when the passion was lit up. It is almost incomprehensible to think back to that freedom and space that I had pre-kids.
This year has been an evolution of me claiming back parts of myself and making more space for me. Which hasn’t been what I would call easy but has been necessary and so rewarding. At the very beginning of the year I was interviewed by Body Bliss Life and one of the questions she asked was about my morning routine, to which I laughed at. At that point Arrow was 5 months old, not yet sleeping through the night and I also had a needy toddler so my routine was be awakened by baby, feed baby and lay in bed with her nursing until toddler came in and then we went downstairs for breakfast.
I did mention that I would love in the future to wake up before them both and have some me time and to perhaps get in 20-30 minutes of movement in but I didn’t see or say when that would become my reality.
Time passed, Arrow started sleeping. I started getting 8 hours a sleep a night and I thought about and attempted the waking up before her thing often. I laid yoga props by my bed to make it easy to rolll right onto the floor. I even tried doing yoga stretches in bed. But weeks and months passed and it wasn’t really happening. Laying in bed or letting her morning I am awake cries wake me was much easier.
Then one hot summer morning I pulled my yoga mat outside and did a little flow with Zia trying to follow my lead while Arrow was napping. Being outside and in the flow with music going felt SO GOOD! I looked up and realized this is it. Outside is where I want to be. I could wake up and come outside for 20 minutes of yoga. Wouldn’t that feel amazing? Not just the yoga but the being outside in the cool quiet morning?!
As the day went along I had that memory not just in my mind but my body. I put the kids to bed that night and wondered could I try waking up early tomorrow and doing some yoga outside? And right there I stopped myself. I saw that the person I see myself to be doesn’t just want to do wake up early and do yoga, SHE DOES IT.
She doesn’t ponder if she is capable of it. She doesn’t wonder if it will work or stick this time. She simply is the person who wakes up early to do yoga and have time for her.
I said to myself THIS IS WHO I AM NOW. I am the person that wakes up before her kids to have time for herself to wake up her body and her mind. THIS IS WHO I AM.
It isn’t a desire. It isn’t a some day. This is who I am!
And so I set out my yoga gear, set an alarm for 5:50 am, chose a fun song to wake up to and repeated to myself THIS IS WHO I AM. And I was excited about it!
And the next morning I did it and I kept doing it. Because this is who I am. I am the person who wakes up early to have the time to connect to herself and remember herself.
In the past few months I have been using different forms of visualization to remember my own power and to not only see my dreams but feel them. Instead of saying I want, or even I will, I shift it to thinking about it as if I am so certain it is happening that it already IS. Using this way of thinking is what got me to shift my thoughts into not just putting my morning practice out there as a want but seeing that it is a part of me.
And I have to tell you that I am freaking loving it! I have chosen to allow myself the extra sleep a few weekend days and it is interesting to see that when I wake up to have my me time I actually feel more energized, alive, present and connected to myself than I do on the days I give myself the gift of extra sleep.
I also noticed that I prefer to not follow any yoga videos or guidance. I tried it one morning and while the thirty minute practice I followed was perfect I missed having the time just for me. Of listening to my body and allowing it to take me where it wanted to go. We are all taking so much input in ALL the time. I saw that this morning time was just for me and it is okay if I don’t go in super deep or have the most curated practice. The practice isn’t really even about doing the yoga it is in being the yoga.
This morning practice is a space for me to connect to me and to wake up to myself before everything else comes rushing in.
This is who I am now and it feels like home.
It didn’t stop with finally creating this morning routine. I am applying this mindset shift in all areas of my life. When I feel too tired to meal prep even though I know it will help me all week. I remind myself of the version of myself I know I am. I am the person that is prepared! When I feel too tired to do that last bit of work, I remind myself of the person I am!
When I hesitate on making a request, reaching out for support, or claiming my worth…I remember who I am.
Who do you see yourself to be? What can you start doing today to become that person?!
Have you downloaded my Own Your Awesome App yet? That is the main goal of the app! To remind you of who you know yourself to be deep down! To get out of your own way! To fully love and accept yourself and claim your life and your joy!
Get it here for Apple and here for Android!
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