I just now caught myself in a fear.  A very silly fear, but an ever-present fear for many.

I am currently living with a lovely family in a small town in Sicily.  They are kind, generous, sweet, and have quickly become my family.  Today, I caught a ride into town with the mother while she ran errands and I got my sweat on at the gym.  Upon returning home, I went straight to my laptop to check what emails and messages had come in from the night, since I am 6 hours ahead of the East Coast and 9 hours ahead of the West Coast, I often wake up to many things that stirred as I slept.

I settled into to my lovely outdoor office, drinking my water, and Yerba Mate (Thank you V for bringing it to me!)  I quickly realized I was sitting in my dried sweat and stench from the gym.  The obvious fix for that is to change, but I also wanted to do some yoga soon and all of my other yoga clothes are dirty as well.So, it is either sit in my stench or change into something non-yoga productive and get to yoga after the laundry is done and my clothes have air-dried (no drier).

Oh wait!  I do have my Lululemon yoga onesie clean!  Tada!  So, I peeled off my sweat ridden clothes, had a quick rinse off,  and put on the onesie.  I have not worn the onesie in many, many, months.  It is adorable, but my brain loves to tell me things that don’t serve when I want to wear it.   I love it, but I do feel a bit odd in it.  I am not much of a onesie, cutsie girl.  Or am I?  And I am just afraid to step into that?  I also have gained a little Italian softness here from indulging on different foods.  So, that added to my onesie fears and judgments.

Before stepping out of my bedroom with my laundry in hand I was searching for another clean item to put over the onesie.  I was feeling a bit too revealed in it.  If I was home alone, in my own home I doubt I would be feeling this way.  I found a top to layer over the onesie, and checked myself out in the bathroom mirror, standing on tip toes to attempt to see my own ass and thighs.  Do I look too flubby in this, today?

I shook my head off at myself, seeing that I was currently afraid of what will they family think of me in this outfit?  Will they look at me and think her ass is too big to wear that.  Will I scare the children?  What is she wearing?  I am currently taking time worrying about, living in fear of what a 14 year old Italian girl and 16 year old Italian boy may think of me and my onesie.  The parents aren’t even home.  I am afraid of what two loving teenagers, who have never shown me or my outfits any sort of judgements.

Oh sillyness!  And this is what we humans do, always get stuck in “What will they think?”  About the littlest things!  About everything!  And really, IT DOESN’T MATTER!

I laughed at myself and spoke lovingly and generously to myself.   This is what I am wearing.  I do want to wear this.  This is what I look like today.  I love and accept myself.

Love and accept yourself.   Let go of the fears and worries of what will they think.  It doesn’t matter!  And, most of the time they are not even thinking about it in the first place.

Oh silly fears!