I have been silent over here since Zia was born almost a year ago! I can’t believe she is already so grown up!
One reason is because she consumes most of my mind and life these days and didn’t want to turn this into a mom blog…but you know what. I am now a mom and that is my experience of life and I have always simply shared my honest experience of life and thoughts about it.
So, I am telling myself, I am allowed to write about being a mom! And even people who aren’t mom’s will still likely get something from it. And if they don’t, they don’t And that is okay too.
I absolutely love being a mom.
Am I tired? Yes.
Do I see an instagram post of someone reading alone on a beach and wonder if I will ever get to do that again? Yes.
Do I struggle daily with balancing running my own business and being my daughter’s primary caretaker? Fuck Yes.
I am so freaking happy that I created my dream of having my own product line and being a work at home mom. It is such a blessing to get to be with Zia all day long and to have control of my schedule, well I mean Zia technically has control of my schedule, but meaning I don’t answer to anyone but myself and I don’t have many meetings or appointments. The ones I do have are set up by me at times that work for Zia’s naps.
It’s awesome in so many ways.
But that doesn’t mean it is easy! The struggle is so real and I have to remember that there were always ebs and flows and there always will be.
This week, when Zia goes down for her first (usually longer) nap instead of busting out my computer and lists to tackle business stuff I have found myself in the kitchen wanting to cook. It is overcast here which is super rare. And who knows what the moon and stars are up to. But when I think about getting to work I feel like I am being crushed by pressure from all sides. I really just don’t want to.
I am feeling called to cook and clean and be homey. I want to soak up my sweet girl when she is awake instead of trying to get business things done while she wrecks my office. I am just not feeling it this week.
But, last week and the week before I was! I got many new projects and products in motion. I felt like a semi-legit business lady. I was getting shit done!
So, right now, I am trying to remind myself that I get to decide how it all feels. I can create that balancing being a full time mom and business owner is fun, is easy, is manageable. It is whatever I create it to be.
I am reminding myself to take my own advice and:
Meaning on days like today when I just want to cook and clean…which are technically things I do want and need to do today. Let myself do that instead of feeling the pressure that I “should” get to work. After all, I have answered important emails. My orders that are going out today, are already packed. The rest of the work needs to get done, but will likely get done more successfully, if I do them later at a time, when my attention and desire is there.
Yes, I will get to the business stuff. I will. I always do. So why do I put myself through this icky “should do it now” stuff?
So this week I am going to take a dose of my own medicine and do what I am feeling I truly WANT to do in those precious times when Zia is asleep. It will all get done. And I will focus on how I WANT to feel (favorite tip from Danielle LaPorte).
I want to feel at ease, productive, and lit up!
I know that when I put my full self into each project it is much more valuable and so it is okay if for some morning naps I choose to not do the business stuff. I will revisit that when she takes her second nap and after her bedtime. And, the world won’t end if I do nothing business related today.
What if I actually gave myself a day of not worrying about it, would it possible I could wake up tomorrow refreshed and excited, with new ideas and a new attitude?
YES! It is so possible!
I am putting an end to the struggle! It doesn’t have to be one. This is the life and dream that I created. I am managing it and everyday will look differently. I can not measure my success by the amount of orders that come in today or in the amount of business work I get done today.
What is success anyways? We decide for ourselves. {Tweet it!}
The fact that I can feed my daughter healthy meals today, give her my full attention and have the health and energy to chase after her is success alone. And also, this entire week can be considered a success, because I blogged, ha!
What are you struggling with? Are you ready to be done with the struggle? Join me in transforming it!
Step 1 — Fuck the Shoulds!
This doesn’t mean putting off all of your responsibilities indefinitely…Check out this oldie but goodie video explaining why I despise the word “should”.
Step 2 — Choose and remember 2-3 words of how you want to feel.
Step 3 — Enjoy your life and be grateful for it all!!!!
Life is hard enough, without the pressure, shoulds, and guilt we pile on ourselves.
Give up the struggle and give yourself the opportunity to actually enjoy the life you created for yourself! {Tweet it!}
