This morning I woke up swimming in stories that didn’t serve me.  Stories that have been showing up here and there over the last couple of months, but I was able to put them in their place and move along.  They kept coming back though!  Today, I decided, today I have most definitely had enough of them.

The stories are all varieties of the same when it gets down to it.  I have been making up stories that some of my friends, people that I love and adore, are done with me.  That they want nothing to do with me.   Or I make up that some of my friendships are one-sided.  That I am the generous friend, the compassionate friend who is always there for them, but where are they when I need them?

Why have I been making up and believing these stories?   Simply because they are busy living their lives, doing their things.  Yes, I now live in the same city as they do, but that doesn’t mean that their lives revolve around mine.

For the past year and a half I was so busy that I forgot to respond to texts and voicemails.  Even when I was in the same town as my friends, I would barely make time to see them.  I chose rest and self care a lot of the time and I really needed it.  I was putting out a lot of energy, traveling constantly, and had very little down time.  So, now that I have the time and they don’t, what do I do?  Make up stories about it.  LAME.com

The thing is none of these friends have acted as “bad” friends.  They have been in touch.  I have seen many of them and most of the time I have been wanting to have my own time, anyways.  When my stories show up, though, I start to believe that they all dropped of the face of the earth.  That any phone call, email, text that I sent was greeted with radio silence.  Which is bullshit, because it is not the truth!!!!  My mind has become my worst enemy.  It tells me lies.  Good thing that I do not have to listen!

So, what did I  do to really clean those thoughts out this time?

A) I journal about it.  Why oh why is it so hard to pull out the notebook and pen and get all those crazy thoughts out onto paper, sometimes???  Not today.  Today, I opened that notebook and let all my crazy stories that do not serve me out.  Of course, once it is out of my head and onto paper it all sounds so silly.

B) I reach out to the people I care about.  People that I have been making up stories about and others.  I let myself spread my love and gratitude for them and their friendships.  I do this from my heart.  I do not do this from a place where I am expecting a reply of any sort.  I am not doing this to get anything back, only to share my honest and heart felt love and gratitude.  This can be as small as a short text.  It could be a voicemail, email, a hand written letter, a postagram (awesome).  Anything.

C) I affirm to myself that I am an amazing, strong, valuable, compassionate, loving, gracious human and I look around to see all the love and beauty that surrounds me and is me.

Of course these stories and more may rear their ugly heads, but with these goto methods I can shoot them down quicker and quicker.  I can laugh it off and get back to being awesome and living an awesome life.

What spring cleaning can you do up there?  What stories are you holding onto that do not serve you.  Trust me, you are better then what you are telling yourself.   Dump the garbage and refill with goodness.

Happy Spring!