I lose a lot, but I gain a lot.  This past  trip before I even reached my destination I lost all of the jewelry that I wear.  Being someone that was always on the road, I never collected much accessories.   I pretty much wear the same jewelry all of time, but until recently I barely wore it.

Since, moving to New York City I wear my jewelry much more often.  Pretty much everyday.  It makes me feel fancy.  My outfits are still quite casual, but putting on my big earrings, a necklace or two, and maybe even a ring or bracelets, woohoo, I am fancy!

For my 6 hour flight, I only put on my newest Energy Muse piece, the Runes of Riches, and packed the rest away.  As soon as I hopped in my friend’s car in LA.  I opened my bags in search for my jewelry bag.  I felt naked!  I wanted to look special!  I wanted to be all dolled up and fancy for my friends!  I was a New Yorker now, now a beach bum!

I searched and searched through both of my bags to find nothing.  Hmmm.  I had barely touched my bags on the flight or in the cab, was it possible for it to have fallen out?  Doubtful.  I bet I left it at home.  I do remember adding my Grandmother’s pearls at the last minute.  I must have forgotten to put it back in the bag.  I bet it is sitting right on my kitchen table or couch, clear as day.

A called my friend, who I had lent my apartment to while I was away and asked her to look around for my bag, just to give me piece of mind.  She said there was nothing there.  Did I really lose it?

I felt naked.  Seriously.  I didn’t even have big plans for the night.  It wasn’t as if I was going to some hot club or fancy event.  I was just going to dinner at the new Cafe Gratitude LA.  It was so funny to me.  Especially, after the excitement and strength that I felt on the plane ride over, that I was returning a new woman.

I noticed these feelings and took them head on.  Ok, Universe what are you telling me to let go of now?  Did I get too cocky or something?  Do you want me to take on feelings of unworthiness?   I laughed at myself, knowing that I did not need the jewelry.

That night as I laid down to go to bed, my thoughts shifted back to my jewelry.  Everything in that bag was quite special to me.  Did I really lose it?  Did I really lose my Grandmother’s pearls?  I had never traveled with them before and only wore them once, on my 30th birthday.

“What if I lost it?” I asked myself.  “Then, I lost it.”  I answered myself.  Laughing and shaking my head, knowing it was that simple.

The rest of the week, each time my naked feelings came up, each time I thought about the possibility that my jewelry was lost, I remembered, If I lost it, then I lost it.  End of story.  Yet, In the back of head, I still believed that it really was all at my apartment in New York and that my friend just did not see it.

When, I returned home late last Friday night.  I unpacked my bags and looked around.  It was no where to be found.

Wow.  I really had lost it.  I really had lost all of it.  Laying in bed, now really knowing that it was gone, I went through that jewelry bag piece by piece, remembering what I had packed it with.

I lost my prized High Priestess Energy Muse necklace.

I lost my grandmothers string of pearls.

I lost the gold ring that I bought in Istanbul that is engraved with an Isalamic prayer. (The only ring I wear).

I lost the gold earrings that I wear daily.

I lost the silver earrings that my friend brought me back from Egypt, my only pair of silver earrings.

I lost all of my old Energy Muse pieces.  The heart chakra necklace. The travel  protection bracelet.

I started to cry at the memories and meanings these pieces held for me.  They were gone.   I don’t know if it was so much about the pieces themselves or the ideas of them, but I let go.  They are gone.  I let go.

I thought back to other things that I have lost.  Favorite items, money, even people.  Loss happens.  I lose a lot of things, but a gain a heck of a lot, too and not just in the physical sense.  Everything is a guide.  There is always more to discover.

While on my trip, I did gain a new piece of jewelry, that is perfectly fitting.  The newest Energy Muse piece, that is not out yet.  The I am Grateful bracelet.  So, even with all of my favorite pieces gone now, I am reminded of my eternal gratitude.

………And, then the next morning.  I found it!

I had let go. I had embraced the nakedness.  I had taken on my idea of loss and grieved.  I had received.