Just now, I was in my bathroom putting on my new W3LL Narcissist Stick Foundation (thanks to No More Dirty Looks for introducing me). I caught myself in the mirror and with no pre-meditated thoughts, said outloud, “I am blessed with imperfect skin.” I paused, hearing what I had just said and thought, wow that is true.
I regularly say that I was blessed with fibroymalgia, because it made me truly listen to my heart. I was always in so much pain physically that I could not stand to carry around emotional pain, as well. I noticed that when I was in situations that I did not like, working jobs that I did not like, or when I was holding things in that my pain multiplied. Really, the pain was always there, but when I was I doing things that I loved it was easy to ignore.
At the age of 15, after hitting an ultimate painful low, emotionally and physically (I was still undiagnosed at that point) I started to completely tell the truth, to speak my truth. I chose to tell my parents what I was really up to on the weekends, when I said I was spending the night over my friend, Ali’s. I chose to speak up in high school, to not be afraid of being disowned by the “cool” kids. I said what I thought, even if it was uncomfortable.
Over the years, I have committed to this. It is not always easy to speak up, but I have to. My body won’t let me get away with not. Sometimes, I don’t even know what it is, but I feel the pain, the anxiety in my body and I know, there is something that I am not saying. There is something I must get clear about.
So, no matter who it is with, a top artist that I am working for, a tough guy boss, a friend who I looked up to, my parents, a love interest, or even myself, I have to speak up. My body won’t let me play games. My body won’t let me fake it.
Today, when “I am blessed with imperfect skin” came out of me, I paused to ponder that. “Whatever do you mean, Tricia?” I asked myself. I have always battled acne prone skin. It runs in my family. I have tried all sorts of things. I have accepted it.
I don’t wear makeup everyday anymore, sometimes I go weeks without. I walk just as tall with my imperfections covered as I do with them bare for all to see. My skin, does not define me. Perhaps, I have been blessed with my skin for me to see that my true beauty lies within, and from there shines out. Perhaps, I have been blessed with my imperfect skin to teach me to love and accept all imperfections, internal and external.
Do I want clear skin with no visible pores and no signs of scarring? Abso-freaking-lutely! Do I try out new products, get facials, use purifying masks? Of course, but I am not caught up in “if only I had clear skin”. I accept what is. I accept who I am, scars, blemishes in all. The ones on my face and the ones on the inside, too.
What blessings can you find in your own life?
It’s good that you’re seeing a positive side to this 🙂
I’m also a big believer in fasting and letting your body do its job.
🙂
thank you for giving a flip side to skin imperfections. I have recently gone on a rampant search (new creams, make at home mask concoctions, dermo visits & now antibiotics) to get rid of skin imperfections. media and culture (including those around me) have encouraged me to seek out help for a few bumps on my chin. sure, they’re not ideal, sure they make me not look like the models…but why do I have to?
Your thoughts around how they make one look within to inner beauty is SPOT ON. I’m grateful you are voicing your thoughts in this blog, just came across it, adding to my favorites.
happy spring equinox very soon – to letting go of junk and fresh new beginnings!
people are often commenting on my skin. it’s hard to let go when you hear that your skin is looking rough or you’re so pretty that it’s a shame about your skin. i have been using rms beauty’s raw coconut cream because it’s anti-bacterial and works as a cleanser and moisturizer (no more soap for me). my skin isn’t healed, but it feels healthier. i think the culprit is hormonal, and until i address that, no amount of cosmetics will help.
i am totally being 30 right now, ever since may 16th, and i have to say that it takes SO much effort and self-love to accept my skin, too! while i battled with it much more when i was younger, i still find myself asking, “am i really still getting breakouts at 30??” sometimes my skin is luminous and clear, and then sometimes it’s…so completely not.
anyway, through the years, i’ve learned some clear skin tricks, and i want to pass those on to someone who might appreciate them! i have found that my skin looks its absolute best after i drink a fresh skin tonic from my juicer! the recipe is this…
6-10 leaves of kale
6-8 strawberries
a whole bunch of parsley
3 carrots
half a lemon if you like
there’s something in this combination that makes me glow, and the day after i drink it, my breakouts are either completely gone, or SO much better. also, i completely stopped washing my face. i know this sounds insane and counterproductive; but i’ve found that my skin likes its own balance. it likes a good lukewarm rinse now and again, and sometimes it likes a tiny bit of organic moisturizer. but otherwise, it wants water, juice, and a full night’s sleep.
anyway, i feel you on this one. but i appreciate your reminder that we’re glowingly beautiful creatures, blemishes and all. and i suppose love and rest are the best recipes in the end.