Breakdown! Breakdown! Breakdown! I just had a breakdown! My friend dropped me back at the airport in Austin this afternoon to pick up a rental car. I had reserved one, but him, his housemates and I were trying to figure out a plan utilizing the cars that they own. Alas, it was not looking too good, so we went ahead and picked up the rental car. Now, I can roam freely as I like without interrupting their plans and without putting off things that I want to do.

As I handed my credit card over to the desk agent I felt my body stiffen. I don’t like being in credit card debt! I have never been before! I have no other debt. I have the money to pay my rent, but that is it. I used my credit cards to supply my new little sanctuary with furnishings and to stock my pantry. I want to retire these cards. I do not want to add to my debt.

This week, I was invited to go to San Francisco on March 31 to attend a leadership workshop with the Café Gratitude folks. My initial reaction was YES!!!!!! I have been wanting to go up north just to eat at their new vegan mexican restaurant, Gracias Madre and had even emailed a friend about planning a day adventure for that purpose only. So, this is perfect, and he is going too, even more perfect!

But. Here. Now. Today, I am having a breakdown. I don’t want to charge this rental car. I don’t want to charge this plane ticket to SF. I want to go on a shopping spree. I want a new warm hoody and something cute to wear. I want new Lululemon yoga clothes. I want to buy hair products and makeup. I want to get massages and facials and pedicures! I want to stock myself with all of my favorite superfoods. I want to buy the entire online sweet treat selection at www.oneluckyduck.com. But, I don’t want to rack up more debt.

I know that I am abundant. I know that what I will get from the leadership workshop in SF and what I will get from my Yoga training this weekend will create more abundance in my life. I am not going to go on a shopping spree. I am going to keep living simply. I am not going to primp and pamper myself. BUT, I am going to buy this plane ticket. I am going to go to San Francisco. I am going to attend this workshop. I have no idea what will come from it, but I am drawn to do it and I am able to do it. My credit card debt will go away. I will source income from the perfect place at the perfect time. Because yes I want to spend money on all of these things right now, but so far nothing is calling to me to make that money. I am really enjoying being unemployed. These trips that are costing me money are bringing me income, just not today, but it is coming!

I am abundant!