I did not want to get out of bed at all today! Last night, after writing several drafts of my Joyology proposal, there was a knock on my door. It was two of my friendly neighbors asking me to come watch the sunset from their beachfront deck. Minutes before their knock I had been crying reading over re-writes that I had gotten back from the trusted few that I sent the proposal to. So, I said, “why not! I will have a glass of wine and hang”. These guys have knocked on my door several times and I have yet to hang out with them. I actually had a really great time sipping on red wine and chatting away. I told them all about my proposal and they were stoked for this made up service that I was offering.
I had a couple glasses of wine, but didn’t feel drunk. I hadn’t eaten dinner so when I got back to my place I foraged for food. Alcohol makes me eat. I don’t know if it is just a subconscious need to soak it up? My kitchen is very bare right now but I came up with a concoction of nori, almond butter, and sauerkraut that was actually really good. It was now 10 pm.
I crawled into bed and turned on a movie instead of taking another stab at my proposal. I ended up staying up pretty late and when I woke up this morning I did not want to budge. I chose to let myself stay wrapped up in bed, and turned on another movie. I was just not motivated to do anything else and I was getting real satisfaction in allowing myself to stay in bed and not write!
I didn’t budge from my cozy bed until noon. When I finally got up to use the restroom. I was suddenly lit up! I was stoked! (I actually wondered if it was the power of dropping the kids of at the pool, if you know what I mean.) I was ready to take on my next draft of the proposal. I printed out all of the previous drafts and embarked on a brand new one. It was fresh and real, not forced. I finished it and sent it out to my team of reviewers.
I am overwhelmed once again with hope and faith. I know that my life will work out. I don’t know what that looks like. I don’t know what that means, but I know that it will work out.
I trust the unknown.
putting it all out there (and getting a response that you are not hoping for–or sometimes worse, no response at all) is tough. Realizing that it only makes you more determined and inspired is awakening! Continued best wishes for you on your journey!