For the past few weeks I have been running my Kickstarter Campaign for my Own Your Awesome Affirmation Deck.  It has been a practice in many things, and has definitely moved me into being even more of an expert asker and way past the fear of getting a NO.

I used to be someone who would not even be able to ask for a ride to the airport or to drop my car off to be fixed.  If I was going out with a friend I would be the one to offer to drive.  Something always held me back from saying, “Can you pick me up on your way?”  I always offered my help to others, but never asked for it in return.

Sounds generous, right? It was, I was, but there was also something else going on.  I wasn’t asking because I was afraid they would say no.  Which really meant that I didn’t think I was worthy of their time. This shocked me to the core, as I have been on a self-love movement since the age of 15.  I was always in tune with myself and doing inner work, while living my dreams and going against the norm.  Yet, there was this fear of simply asking for a ride!  WTF!

I loved myself, but yet I made up that no one loved me enough to give me a ride?  That I wasn’t worthy of a ride?  How is that possible?

The fear of getting a NO is really the fear of not being accepted, which is really the fear of not being loved.  It all boils down to love. {Tweet it!}

I had been trapped in a story of “I DON’T NEED ANYONE!” as my defense mechanism and it was absolutely not true.  I also saw that self-love could not sustain on it’s own.  Loving yourself is necessary, but really how can you are you loving yourself if you are also telling yourself you are not worthy of their love.  So, I dove in and took on asking for support and making requests small and large, constantly reminding myself that I am worthy!   And what do you know? My friends kept at the chance to contribute to me, as I had them.  Of course I will give you a ride!

Fast forward 4 years and many asks later to running this campaign to raise $20,000 in pre-orders.  I have been ask, ask, asking consistently to so many!  I am sharing it a LOT on twitter, Facebook and Instagram. I have even sent personal Facebook messages to everyone I have ever messaged with and direct messaged some people that I look up to on Twitter.  I have written personal emails to many friends, cohorts and connections.  I have really been putting myself out there.  I am truly digging in and saying this is worth it.  I am worth it.  I know it is.

Each time that I hesitate on opening a new email, or hitting send, I see that I am not so much afraid of getting a no, it is me again and again owning my worth and really owning my awesome (as I titled the deck).  I am constantly reminding myself that I am allowed to ask for support and I am allowed to receive it.  I am worthy of being seen, of being heard, and of being supported.  And also that getting this deck made, does not just benefit me, it will inspire all who use it.

I pulled this affirmation from my deck last week and I am holding it close.

As an expert asker, I have not just stepped outside of my comfort zone in asking for support, contributions, shares, and perk collaborations.  I asked several people more than once. When I did not get a reply, I would wait a week and ask again, even putting something like, “No worries if you are not up for sharing or contributing, but please let me know, otherwise I am going to keep asking until I get either a Yes or No”.  Bold, right?

But, it worked. It got people into action and also into their power of choice.   I did get some No’s and it was perfectly okay.   None of them hurt me and most of them were Yes’s, which I would not have gotten if I had not reached out once maybe even twice.

So, now to you.  What are you not asking for fear of getting a NO?  Have you already asked and not received a response?  Ask again!  People get busy, inboxes are full.  We read messages once and forget to reply.  Don’t read too much into getting no response, and don’t be afraid of the word NO.  Boost your self-worth muscle!  You are worthy!

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Thank you all for supporting my Own Your Awesome Affirmation Deck and Kickstarter Campaign!