2014. The year of so many tears. So many joyful tears.
I find myself now, again, crying. Why? I don’t really know. But, yet again, I do.
2014 has been really big year for me. A very full year of working hard, making more of my dreams become reality, of celebrating loved ones and life and purely living.
It was my first full year of being self-employed. I celebrated a lot of successes of my own and of my loved ones, but life is life and it keeps going. There is always more to do, so I think that is why it is the year of tears. Because life moves so fast I don’t fully process it all and then I see someone post the Own Your Awesome Deck on Instagram and burst out in tears. Or package up more of my art prints and burst out in tears as I attach my gold shiny stickers. Or sometimes just find myself staring in front of me, out into the beauty of the world and burst into tears.
It has been such a wonderful year for me to truly appreciate that I can not do it alone. Together we raised $24,000.00 to create my dream affirmation deck. People from so many areas of my past contributed. People that have followed me from my first blogging days. People that just stumbled upon the campaign on Kickstarter.
It was a wonderful year for me to realize that personally. I am so proud of myself for opening up more to my friends, to my family, to my partner. For many years, I carried the “I got this” “I don’t need your help” “I can do it myself” torch like it was a badge of honor. Never fully allowing others to help me. I was always there for them, but wouldn’t allow others to do the same. I am so fucking happy I got over that and I am so grateful for my friendships near and far. Thank you. I love you.
I could not have kept going without community. Nothing we do is for us alone. Even the things we do purely for ourselves, ripple into the ocean of community that surrounds us.
Yesterday, I walked into the front door of my home crying, my boyfriend was immediately alarmed. “What’s wrong?” My response. “I don’t know… I think I am just really proud of myself?”
It’s been a big year. A year not without challenges. The tears, the many, many tears are for that reason, but many more. I really am proud of who I am as a person and all that I have accomplished so far in my life and the way that I live me life.
But, I know that is not the only reason for my tears. I am feeling overwhelming emotions and one of those emotions I can clearly name GRATITUDE.
Thank you all so much. Nothing that I have done, could I have done alone. I am constantly inspired by you and lifted up by you. You are making my dreams real and my body, mind and heart are so overwhelmed with gratitude that it pours out of me in the form of the most joyful tears at some times what seems like the most random moments, but we know they are really the most perfect moments.
I thank you. I love you. I am inspired by you. 
2014 you were a big one. 2015 I am ready for you!
