As soon as the plane’s wheels lifted from the ground, the overwhelming sense of home came over me. Not just of home, but of this is right, this is where I belong. Immediately, my mind is full of ideas, of acknowledgments of memories. I want to write it all.
Why is it that I feel safest, the most at home in environments where others are stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, and feel unsafe?
I realize that my favorite spots to write at are not quiet and serene but full of loud music, loud people, and life. I choose the Ace hotel as my writing spot where others come to work, too, but most come to drink to party, to catch up. I walk in at 10pm to a full room, but there are still seats at the big community office table in the center. I feel completely at home tapping into my computer as the DJs spin and crowds mingle and stumble about.
I go to a quiet, bright teahouse and feel anxious to leave, bored, unmotivated to sit there and type.
I have always noticed that I am most focused during yoga when I am amidst either confined areas or very public areas. For instance, when I practiced yoga on tour, often times I’d roll off the bus and unroll my mat right there. Sometimes we were parked on a major street of a major city. Sometimes we were in a county fair lot. Sometimes we were in a gravel lot and load in had already started so stagehands would be pushing cases by me, looking on at hollering at me. All of it made me more focused. All of it created a space for my monkey mind to fall away.
In 2008, when I was actually teaching yoga on tour, I often times led Jason Mraz through sessions on the main floor of the venues, while the opening acts were sound checking and the venue staff were running around rushing to set up. Not what you would expect for something that is supposed to mellow you out and root you back to your source, huh? He, too, ended up loving zoning in admist the chaosis that surrounded us.
Even at yoga studios, this is true for me. When the rooms are ultra packed that mats are almost on top of each other, that is when I feel myself able to concentrate best. This is when it is easiest to ignore my monkey brain. Once, I was surprised by a film crew filming my regular Wednesday morning class. The cameraman got up close and personal with me several times, and I just stuck with my breath and with my practice. Having him as a distraction supported me going deeper inside.
I make up that when my immediate outside distractions are heightened, multiplied even, it creates a porthole of focus for me. It is either all or nothing. I mean, prior to my Joyology creation, I made a living paying complete attention to upwards of 16 people at once and to the tiniest details and the most unreadable signs. Either I was gifted with the ability to fine tune within distraction or it is a skill that I mastered throughout my life adventures.
PS…. When did I become the person who dances in her seat, while typing into her laptop? Weirdo! Man, a former version of me would totally be raising their eyebrows at me right now, perhaps because that old me would be jealous of the obvious freedom and bliss that I embody now.
