Not gossiping is easier said then done, as are most things in life, but it really IS possible!
Or, perhaps you are reading this and thinking, pssh I am so positive, I DO NOT gossip. But, let’s be real here.
Gossip happens, catch yourself, stop yourself.
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Here is how I have implemented stopping the Gossip:
1) Get Clear.
When you find yourself venting, complaining, upset with someone, bring it to the person it is about. Sometimes I will be in a conversation with one friend and hear myself bring up another friend. Perhaps something she did that confuses me, frustrates me, hurt me, something that I am judging her for. As soon as I say it out loud. I say, wow, it looks like I need to talk to them about this. This A) alerts the person that I am in conversation with that I have caught myself gossiping and do not want to continue. B) Inspires them to do the same the next time they hear themselves gossiping. C) Works as a transition out of talking about others (gossiping) and into a new topic.
Sometimes we DO need to get clear with the person we have an urge to vent (gossip) about. Share with them how they have shown up for you. Be honest, but come from a place of love and a desire to heal. If you don’t tell them, how will they know? {click to tweet} Sometimes people really have no clue that they have hurt you, or acted in a way that leaves you thinking badly about them.
Sometimes we simply need to get clear with ourselves. {click to tweet} Are we reading too much into things? What really happened? Did they do something to you? Did they act maliciously? Are we just jealous? Are we just wounded from past experiences? A good way to get clear with yourself is to write all of your feelings out on paper. Allow yourself to vent to the page and what is at the core of it, will most likely show up.
Get clear. With them. With you.
2) Remind yourself that Judging isn’t Loving.
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Because isn’t that what Gossiping really is? Judging?
3) Think before you speak.
Consider, what is your intention? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Would you want the same done to you/said about you?
4) Don’t allow yourself to be pulled into gossip.
Often times, we end up gossiping because our friends, co-workers, loved ones pull us into it. We are in a conversation, we are catching up and then before you know it, you have been pulled into gossip.
So, how do you get out?
- Simply listen, allow them to vent, allow them to be heard and then compassionately point out that it sounds like they have something that they need to clear up with the person they are talking about.
- State that you are kicking your gossip habit, working on being more loving and accepting, state that you are living by the Judging isn’t Loving rule and change the subject (without judgement).
- Invite them to join your non-gossiping, non-judging state of love and wellbeing.
- Excuse yourself from the conversation.
Tuesday Tips are usually filled with Healthy Living tips, and honestly I truly believe that choosing to NOT Gossip is hugely vital to a healthy lifestyle. You can exercise, you can drink green juice, eat super foods, use natural wellness techniques, but you must implement a healthy mind as well. I personally feel that gossip needs to be let go off to truly live with a healthy mind, healthy heart, and a healthy body.
Will you join me on taking greater strides to cut the Gossip?
