This past week (maybe more) has felt harder in many ways. I am still doing work that I love. I am still taking care of myself. I am still doing all the things for my kids and laughing and snuggling with them. I am still thriving on working with my clients and creating an amazing vision for my future.

But there is something looming over me. I was excited to find out there was a full moon, eclipse and mercury went in retrograde last week so that I could just blame all the funky feelings on that. I even saw some information about more planets going into retrograde today so was like oh, ok it’s just happening. Lean into it. Surrender to it.

A part of me (a big part of me) wants to fight it. I actually thought today that I wanted a vacation from my life, from my responsibilities. From cleaning the house and checking the pool and making all of the meals and living on my kids schedules. And even from my kids. Something I am a bit afraid to say out loud here because I freaking love my kids dearly and I still look at videos and photos of them while they are asleep. They bring me so much joy. But, yes. I’d like a break.

I have a lovely home, I have a pool, I have a lot and I am grateful. So grateful, so grateful, so grateful AND I would like a break.

I am filled up with ideas and ways to serve more. Programs I want to create and ways I see myself supporting people to live their lives to their fullest and I am over here wanting a break from mine so that I can create this work. HA! But I guess that means I really am doing what I love in my work!

I was driving today and I thought, I just feel likeI am not in control and I don’t like it! And I immediately laughed because when are we really, truly, fully in control? Never! So what I saw is that instead of working more on control, maybe I need to actually let go more.

I need to make more space.

I need to surrender to the flow even more to make the space for what is possible.

I always feel like discomfort, breakdowns, and triggers show us more than we were willing to see. They are like a big flashing arrow sign to look here, look here, look here! You want XXX well you gotta work on this in order to get that, lady.

So, my plan for this week is to surrender, while not giving up or giving in. I still have my eye on those big visions my other work goals for the week and am working towards them BUT I also plan to make more space in my days and nights.

To put my phone away, my books, podcasts, TV shows…all of it! I feel like I am taking in so much that I am not giving myself proper space to tune into me fully and completely. So before the kids get up and after they go to sleepy intention is to dedicate chunks of time just for me that don’t involve cleaning, prepping, working, or communicating! I will be taking some time on my yoga mat, in my bath, and even just laying outside looking up at the sky and I will be letting it pour out into my journal as well. Something that I now realize I haven’t been doing as much of and always works to get me out of the mess of my mind. (Check out this blog for my journaling method). And! I am going to get out of the house for my working hours to let a new space energize me and awaken me!

I am letting go.

I am making space.

I am surrendering to the flow and making more space for what is possible.

ANNNNDDDD exhale. Like a big full body, open mouth loud exhale follow by a fluttering of the lips and a shaking out the head and the body. Join me why don’t you?!